Killer Croc Kills

Comment on the world

2012-02-12T21:39:00.001+08:00

Society progresses too fast.

But moral values and our value systems can't catch up.

I see it everywhere now.

Either it's intrinsic or extrinsic.

The value of surroundings are also degraded.

What have we become?

Are the thoughts we have our own?

Or are they the thoughts implanted by societal expectations?

Truth stands out from error.

If only you opened your eyes.

Shout out

2012-02-10T00:36:00.001+08:00

to my blogger frienddds, this period from now till end of may, Ill be super busy
juggling cca and studies and events. Yeah IHC remix, Raffles Rhapsody, Council Camp, Floorball season.
And not forgetting my studiessss!!!
Relax
with hard work, discipline and perseverance Ill do it. I believe I can do!
Insya'allah
God Willing.

So yeah friends, dont get angry if i dont have time to update about my life to you :D

Highlight of my day :D

2012-02-03T00:00:00.004+08:00

Seeing my OG getting high and excited by themselves while I am able to do some HTH with them :D
Love their spirit :D

Highlight of the day :D

2012-01-31T23:06:00.001+08:00

CCAD TIME.
One word.
LEGENDARY :D

The Husker Prayer

2012-01-29T23:15:00.002+08:00

Dear Lord, the battles we go through life,
We ask for a chance that's fair
A chance to equal our stride,
A chance to do or dare

If we should win, let it be by the code,
Faith and Honor held high

If we should lose, we'll stand by the road,
And cheer as the winners go by

Day by Day, we get better and better!
Til' we can't be beat...
WON'T BE BEAT!

The highlight of my day?

2012-01-28T23:23:00.002+08:00

Playing soccer with Fadhli, Xue Wen, Mason and the 4 ppl whom I learnt their names but forgotten about it.
Yes, it feels so good playing my first love. Soccer.
All the running, the kicking and the scoring.
Pure bliss.
It's great I made an impact and left a good lasting impression on them :D

What's in a name?

It's when someone remembers your name, then you feel your identity is reinforced as a person.
And you have left a legacy there and then.

The name is the only thing that a person leaves behind when Death overcomes them.\
yes.

woah

2012-01-28T00:47:00.001+08:00

The positive words book I'm reading really works :D
I'm practising it and it makes me feel so happy now that I can't wipe this smile of my face haha.
I'm just gonna reaffirm and encourage people around me and tell them how much I appreciate and how important they are to me in my life :D
Helping others feel appreciated makes me feel so happy!

2012-01-26T21:05:00.003+08:00

i won't give up.

2012-01-26T20:40:00.002+08:00

I can only hope one day,
this pain inside me will go away.

2012-01-24T13:33:00.004+08:00

If only you knew how much suffering I've endured inside.
If only you knew.

2012-01-24T11:30:00.000+08:00

Gonna read all the motivation books again :D
Yes, the thing about me is that once I read a book, I absorb the contents into my life real quick :D
Yes I need all the drive for Alevels :D
I've leave you all with a quote from a book I'm reading.

Every day that we wake up is a good day. Every breath that we take is filled with hope for a better day. Every word that we speak is a chance to change what is bad into something good. - Walter Mosley

2012-01-24T01:46:00.001+08:00

I may not be able to say in words,
How I admired learned things from you,
But in prayers I do certainly know and wish,
The best things in life for you.

Look what I found here

2012-01-23T15:50:00.002+08:00

So yeah, I was going through Bible Gateway (since everyone I asked about giving me a free bible forgotten about it) and I found this on the New International Version.
Basically the teachings of Jesus pbuh are shown here in the Book Of Matthew Chapter 6, where he covers issues such as prayer, charity, fasting, the bounties in heaven and even an advise not to be worried about the materialistic world. The interesting thing here is that these are also the teachings of Islam in the Quran.
Note that Father here refers to Father in the heaven which is basically God not Jesus's Father just for clarification purposes. If only Christians these days read their own bible.

Matthew 6

New International Version (NIV)

Matthew 6

Giving to the Needy

¹ “Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven. ² “So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. ³ But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, ⁴ so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

Prayer

    ⁵ “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. ⁶ But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. ⁷ And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. ⁸ Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.   ⁹ “This, then, is how you should pray:
   “‘Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
¹⁰ your kingdom come,
your will be done,
   on earth as it is in heaven.
¹¹ Give us today our daily bread.
¹² And forgive us our debts,
   as we also have forgiven our debtors.
¹³ And lead us not into temptation,^[a]
   but deliver us from the evil one.^[b]’
   ¹⁴ For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. ¹⁵ But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Fasting

¹⁶ “When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show others they are fasting. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. ¹⁷ But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, ¹⁸ so that it will not be obvious to others that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

Treasures in Heaven

¹⁹ “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. ²⁰ But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. ²¹ For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. ²² “The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy,^[c] your whole body will be full of light.²³ But if your eyes are unhealthy,^[d] your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!
²⁴ “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.

Do Not Worry

²⁵ “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷ Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life^[e]? ²⁸ “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹ Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰ If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? ³¹ So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Footnotes:

Matthew 6:13 The Greek for temptation can also mean testing.
Matthew 6:13 Or from evil; some late manuscripts one, / for yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.
Matthew 6:22 The Greek for healthy here implies generous.
Matthew 6:23 The Greek for unhealthy here implies stingy.
Matthew 6:27 Or single cubit to your height

save me from myself

2012-01-22T22:00:00.000+08:00

wah on my rest days. I'm just pissed.
EVERYTHING PISSES ME OFF.
URGHHH I GET ANGRY FOR NO REASON!
why. why. why?
it's not me.
it's not me...

husain relax, everythings gonna be alright.
calm down.
calm down.
It's fine.
The way things are.

The problem started because it started.

repent, regret, reflect.

someone talk to me.

Arghh.

2012-01-22T17:54:00.001+08:00

Can I tell you how hard it has been for me.
To suppress everything in and just live life normally.
The people around me can have all the pleasures they want.
With no self-restrain.
I want none of those.
EVERY FACULTY OF ME IS SAYING ONE THING.
my mind is saying the other.
My heart says follow God.
I can only seek solace and guidance from the Almighty now.
I'm suffering inside.
Burning and toiling.
O world, why hadst thou tested me with your contents.
I hope I'll pass the test.
And seek refuge in Allah.
On the day that they is no refuge except from Him.
Insya'allah Allah will give me strength to fight this feeling.

Ameen

My mother

2012-01-21T21:48:00.000+08:00

I've always wanted to write a post dedicated to my parents and my family.
But their deeds and actions are far too great for me to compress and reduce to a single paragraph.
But a photo fits the bill. A picture speaks a thousand words.

Jannah

2012-01-21T21:45:00.002+08:00

Ponder

2012-01-21T21:05:00.000+08:00

Allah's forgiveness

2012-01-21T17:16:00.002+08:00

Your sins are never too small or too big to ask forgiveness from God.
If you say that because of your sins, you cannot approach God directly, you are indirectly saying that God's Grace and Mercy is not worthy of you. And this is not true. So call upon God directly without associating any partners or mediator in between for God is All-Knowing and All-Hearing and does not need anyone's help to intercede.

There is no original sin and you don't have to pray through any priest, person, spirit to get God to hear you.

I'm BACK!

2012-01-20T23:06:00.003+08:00

It's like one of the moments when something inside you just switches on.
And yeah the light in me is back.
I've been wandering too long in the dark.
It's time to bring smiles and happiness to those around me again :)
A moment of true reflection is worth more than a thousand years of ignorant worshiping.
I JUST WANT TO THANK YOU!
It's like things worked out well now!
Even though the only emotion which I can express openly is anger but yeah I'm happy now!
woah.

I don't know how to describe this feeling.
It's like I'm free now.
To traverse the earth and wander.
Wander about and get lost but find Allah in me.
The memories are what I treasure :)
There's no need to forget; just to accept.

Took me a sudden epiphany to feel this way.
Woah.

Husain is back :D

2012-01-18T22:11:00.000+08:00

must resist myself from you....

Rumbles of the heart

2012-01-15T23:46:00.001+08:00

I wrote this last year. But yeah the meaning is fitting for what I've been feeling for 2011.

I spent so many days looking.
Looking at myself fleeting.
The pain inside me knows no boundaries.
For I know this fragile heart kept falling.

In my heart I knew it was wrong.
To affix affection to those who stay for long.
Just because the smiles and cries sings songs of canaries
Doesn't mean I have to be trapped in the ocean torn.

Tasting an earthquake down there is so sweet.
But I know that the heavens are there for us to meet.
Caring and loving the pious ones I would seek.
Those precious pearls are so very rare indeed.

Those pure and protected will ask,
"Are you prepared to fulfill this heavy task?"
But those who play and gossip away
will say, "You are just my a product of my intentions going astray."

Can you feel the rumbles of the heart?
Oh I've waiting so long for this feeling to part...

3rd April 2011.

The feelings have part.
The rumbles are apart.
I'm trying my best to forget you each day.
Lest we can go on with our lives in our own way.

Ya Allah

2012-01-15T23:35:00.002+08:00

Ya Allah,
Andai masanya belum tiba,
Jangan izinkan aku untuk jatuh cinta,
Aku memohon agar Kau tunjukkan jalan,
Agar Kau tunjukkan aku tuntutun yang perlu aku lakukan,
Jauhkanlah aku daripada kemaksiatan,
Jauhkanlah aku daripada perkara yang tidak dapat memberi manfaat,
Dan jauhkan aku daripada perkara yang Engkau murkai,
Agar aku dapat menjaga diri.

Ya Allah,
Jika aku jatuh cinta,
Izinkanlah aku menyentuh hati seseorang yang hatinya tertaut pada-Mu,
Jadikanlah aku yang mencintainya kerana agama yang ada padanya,
Jika dia hilangkan agama yang ada dalam dirinya,
Maka hilanglah cintaku padanya,
Sesungguhnya, cinta yang suci itu tidak buta.

Ya Allah,
Dan jika dia mencintai aku,
Biarkanlah dia mencintai aku kerana agama itu juga,
Asalkan dia tidak lebihkan cinta kepadaku melebihi cinta kepadaMu,
Supaya cinta itu bersemi di lembayung keredhaan-Mu,
Kerna dari situ lahirlah rahmah dan mawaddah dalam rumahtangga.

Ya Allah,
Jika ini bukan masanya,
Jika ini belum saatnya,
Dan jika Kau tahu kami belum bersedia,
Selamatkan kami,
Jarakkan kami,
Pisahkan kami,
Agar kami jauh dari khilaf yang merosak izzah dan iffah,
Agar kami tak mengundang murka-MU,
Agar kami dapat lebih menjaga hati,
Agar hati menjadi yang diredhai ilahi.

Ya Allah,
Andai dia bukan untuk ku,
Andai dia bukan jodohku,
Maka berilah ganti yang lebih baik buatnya,
Berikanlah dia insan yang benar benar terbaik buat kehidupannya,
Insan yang benar-benar mampu memimpinnya ke syurga-Mu,
Dan bantulah aku untuk memperbaiki diriku,
Agar aku kukuh dalam mencari cinta-Mu.

Ameen..

Specific Goals

2012-01-13T23:58:00.000+08:00

Okay here are my goals :)
I will achieve them Insya'allah (God Willing)

A level grades:
Literature : A*
Economics: A*
Geography A*
Maths: A*
GP: A*
PW: A

okay I'll strive to be the top malay student in singapore :)
Go to Yale and have a liberal arts education on full sponsorship
or maybe go to NUS-Yale collage and do some environmental related study.
Or diplomacy, politics (hoo hoo)
NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC WRITER!! ::):):):)

YESS LET'S DO THIS!!!

You don't know you're beautiful!

2012-01-12T22:30:00.001+08:00

haha so many beautiful girls in school ^^

The life of this world.

2012-01-11T22:42:00.001+08:00

Please watch this. It will be very useful for you.

Goal 2012

2012-01-10T23:03:00.001+08:00

To be the best.
IN EVERYTHING!

Random thoughts

2012-01-10T00:14:00.001+08:00

My minds thinking of random things.

Okay yeah Jesus Christ pbuh was the most unfortunate of all of Allah's greatest messengers.

He was rejected from his people the Jews early on.

And his teachings are altered in his name.

In the Hereafter, Allah will ask him whether he taught his people all that which have differed from Allah's message.

He can only answer than he has taught only what Allah has given him.

And since Allah is All-knowing He knows what's in our hearts.

Nabi Isa a.s.

I can feel your pain.

2012-01-09T23:23:00.001+08:00

Thinking back.

I should have known that you treated me like a tool.

But I was too blind too see.

Now it's all clear again.

I'll not be a slave to you anymore.

Responsibilities.

2012-01-03T23:18:00.001+08:00

I will set a time each day doing the start-up market research.
Do my best.
Believe I can do it!
Practise my beat sense.
Got to make CCAD proud.
Need to do cheers properly.
Do my hwk, assignments, books!
Thank you is my way of saying, " God has made this experience a good one."

This will set you thinking.

2012-01-02T08:08:00.002+08:00

My friends, I do love you all and that is why I want to correct you.
Here are two videos that explain the reasons why Christmas celebrated the way it is.
Watch and ponder.

Hope it was useful in enlightening your minds :D

Purity is what I want.

2012-01-02T07:28:00.001+08:00

I'll strive to be benevolent to everyone around me.

Though not everyone deserves the best treatment,

the deserve to be treated with respect, humility and honor.

Even if they don't treasure these values, I won't change.

No longer will I be a reflection of what they are,

the mirroring technique has many limitations.

I'll do what Rasulullah s.a.w did.

To enjoin good in this world,

and to seek the grace of the All-Merciful God.

See what's in your heart.

Those who purify it are the ones who are successful in life and hereafter.

There is no time to look out at other's flaws,

when you spend no time looking at your own.

Think people, think introspectively.

Reflect on the past.

Set goals for the future.

Make that action in this present.

When a decision has been made, I stick to it.

Whether it will turn out to be a good or bad one,

honestly I don't care.

Because I'll put all faith in the All-Knowing God

who will guide me on through the good and the bad.
Man will always be toiling in work in this life,
only the countenance of His Lord of All The Worlds will set him to rest.
When he finally enters Al-Jannah :D

2012

2012-01-01T08:41:00.003+08:00

From today onward,

I have no more distractions.

You'll see, I'll change to be better.

No- more than better, I'll be the BEST!

I 'll will strive to own at every aspect of life.

Whether it's personal, social, mental, physical and spiritual state, I 'll be the best.

No one is going to bring me down again.

I will not let myself be led by desires.

I will change for the better.

Though at times I'll feel alone in this arduous task,

I am not afraid to stand alone.

The moment when you are alone and have no one, you have Allah.

Once you have Allah, you need no one else.

It's a pity how things turned out.

But it's always for the better.

Allah knows whats best for me.

And I know not what is truly good for me.

I miss being a leader.

This year I promise myself to step up and fulfill my responsibilities.

Enough of the thoughts thinking that people won't follow.

I believe if you stand for truth and do righteousness,

people will follow.

You'll see.

why

2011-12-28T00:23:00.001+08:00

feelings just erupt from within.
I just can't control.
It always happens,
even when I been reminding myself
not to be overwhelmed time and time again,
it just happens again.
this feeling again.
why.

Busy Chirstmas Happy Holidays!

2011-12-26T22:59:00.000+08:00

Personally I love Jesus Christ (peace be upon him) dearly and respect him to the utmost ability as one of the greatest messengers of God, but I do not believe that he was born on 25 Dec, nor do I believe in Santa. Well that's Islam's viewpoint. Come discuss with me if you wish to know more about my position, but nonetheless I enjoyed this holiday fully :)

First thing that greeted me in the morning was my mother, 'begging' me to follow her, my father, and children number 2,4,5 to Malaysia, KL. I gladly but kindly rejected the request saying that I've got commitments to attend to and fulfill. Well I left home for an hour ride to Bukit Gombak to help out at Saff Centre.The trip there was really enjoyable as I was buried in my books all the way :) It's good to meet the mentors after few months avoiding them and ustaz. It's sad that I won't be with my Perdaus friends at SPIB next year, yes I'm going Pergas but I feel that it's for the best and the timing is good too. Yeah it really feels good to help out where help is needed. Alhamdulilah.

After some catching up with the brothers, and sisters there and ustaz showering me with random gifts such as books ^^ and a wetsuit I made my way home again, another hour ride buried in reading on the mrt. Left my bike at the mrt now as a good habit as my legs are lazy to walk home nowadays haha. Coming up to the doorstep I saw my lil bro, elder sis and grandmother suited up to go to a malay wedding. I was reluctant to go at first but the draw of free food attracted me so Grandma together with children number 1,3,6 took a taxi to Bedok and ate 'lunch' at the wedding. Malay food is so fattening and niceeee. Well after a quickie we escaped shortly after the whole procession of the bride and groom coming and the whole entourage accompanying them. I'd been a busy boy now, initially wanting to come home for lunch but ended up eating nicer food somewhere else. Alhamdulilah.

Well now that it was 4pm when we came back, I had to quickly look up the directions to Jodi's house for Floorball Chirstmas Party/ Gatering and stich my new pants up. Wah I was moving like a ninja. Wore my bro's shoes, clothes and his bag haha and then took off again at 5 plus sporting a hat :) likacertainbrunomars Albeit too metro-sexual but I didn't care. FINALLY NICE FITTING PANTS for the first time in my life ^^ Took 2 buses there and walked there like a boss at some ulu corner place. haha met the floorballers <3

Played monopoly deal and lost terribly again because of Sham's teaching Jamie how to defeat me, ate nice dinner, watched narnia, played doctor with Jodi and Sham's sisters haha, now they know me as "Angry bird." Wah yoke was making stupid jokes, Sim got lost again awkward moments~ Zhiwen haha brought nice waferss quadratinis woo!! I ended up with Shide at Jodi's piano attempting to sing 'Someone like you' and 'Fix you' which I couldn't recognise the pitch. Must go learn guitar or piano again one day. Or singing lessons haha. Maria too was there! Dex was funny too playing with Sham's cute lil sis.

Okay after exchanging of presents which I got a nice weekly planner to make my study plan from Shide, we all decided to go to the nearby playground. haha the inner child in me took over, soon I was bouncing about and climbing the spider web, playing swings, doing pull-up swings and 'magical' twirling mushooms. Wah there was a competition to twirl non-stop for 15 sec on the mushroom and try to grab on of the hands on the web. Quite fun when I tried it haha but I could control my dizziness fast after much practise at home ahah. Then got a call from my elder sis to go home immediate so yeah they all went to sleep over and I got a ride in Sham's father 's car. Her siblings are super cute!! Especially Ben! He plays football at my primary school woah nice, talented smart boy, only 8years old!. Paige got scared of me so yeah I don't know why. So I got dropped off at Bishan and took the midnight train home with my hat on, serving as a blindfold.

Tired but satisfied. While my real family is enjoying themselves in KL; eating sushi, watching sherlock holmes and still not back yet now, spending time with my floorball family was just what I needed. A respite from all the paroxysm of despair that I've been experiencing. Truly I look forward to spending more time with them again like in the June hols, studying and playing floorball :) Hardcore muggers and players just my type :D

I kinda realised that once I start on something, I won't stop until I finish it. So yeah more essays to go. Love blogging this good memories again.

2011 :D Spend the last 4 days with the best and happiest kind of people so that you can also be like them.

tadaa marcus, I gave chirstmas a post.

Oh yeah our meeting up at zaki's house with adeeb was wonderful too~
Just appreciating the small pleasures in life.
No longer am I hoping for happiness from others,
but I'm creating it from within me.

That's the way :)

Is this life a dream?

2011-12-24T20:50:00.000+08:00

To answer that question, first we ask ourselves are we responsible for what happens in our dreams when we sleep? No. But in this life that we are living, which is likened to a dream, when we wake up in the Hereafter we are going to responsible for our actions and deeds which we have done when we are living.
Yes, this life is a dream.
A dream with consequences that you only face once you go through the passing of death and wake up in the Hereafter.

So what happens there is determined by what you truly prioritise and place importance to?
Is is to be wealthy? To find love? To be respected? To succeed in your career?
Or is it to worship Allah s.w.t?
Choose what is best for you :
God which is eternal or the material pleasures which are temporal?
It's up to each and every individual, to determine their place in the Hereafter.
Whether it's Jannah (Paradise) or Hell-Fire.

Here's how to achieve khushoo' (humility) in prayer:

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) also advised Abu Ayyoob (may Allaah be pleased with him): "When you stand up to pray, pray a farewell prayer." (Reported by Ahmad, 5/412; Saheeh al-Jaami', no. 742) meaning the prayer of one who thinks that he will not pray another prayer. The person who is praying will no doubt die, and there is some prayer that will be his last prayer, so let him have khushoo' in the prayer that he is doing, for he does not know whether this will be his last prayer.

Moderation in Sexuality

2011-12-24T14:48:00.001+08:00

Lessons from the video I've watched, here are solutions how Islam solves the issue of zina.
What is the problem of zina in our society now?
The problem of a sexually loose society is rampant everywhere.
The evil is everywhere in our society with all these teenage pregnancies, multiple sexual partners, swingers or cheaters. So when Allah forbade zina, it is because it is an impure act that results in many problems.
Okay here we go:

1) Hate zina in your heart.
2) Marriage. Marriage in Islam is easy, we make it difficult.
3) Fasting
4) Lowering the gaze- no problems ever if you lower your gaze together with fasting.
5) Don't test yourself with zina, it's a matter of Iman because it's to you. Don't intermingle.
6) Don't come close to zina. Major or minor ones such as the eyes, hands etc.

Sincere Repentance:
1) Stop what you're doing.
2) Regret it. Remorse for what you have done
3) Resolve sincerely to never go back to the sin.

I'm scared.

2011-12-24T00:05:00.002+08:00

Looking at all these bad things that happen around me,
I'm glad that I'm fortunate enough to be protected from this.
Thank you Allah.
Looking also at the increasing number of earthquakes, floods and many disasters happening,
it is a sign that the Day of Judgement is coming close.
I'm scared.
I'll have to be grateful for everything.
Life is temporary, so don't waste it.
Prepare for Afterlife.

I'm at peace.

2011-12-21T22:27:00.000+08:00

Thank you for telling me.
Thank you for everything.
Thank you.

I see but I do not say.

2011-12-20T23:03:00.002+08:00

I see contempt in her eyes each time she laid a glance on him. He lays there oblivious, or at least appearing to be, indulged in the new contraption that he claims it is his. The television shows plays on, a scene bringing back memories flashed there and her eyes turned towards him again. This time accompanied by the incessant tapping of her ring finger onto the wooden chair.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.

She shoots a glare again. The lips curled the opposite way. We all see that she can't hide her anger and resentment anymore, it appears clearly as if forced to keep shut by her strongest will and resolve.

"For the children. For the family. For Allah."
( I didn't hear them but I could almost hear them being thought out.)

Attempting to distract her attention and lighten her mood, I exclaimed vehemently my thoughts about the problems shown in the show which has a strong connection with my PW topic. Jumping up and almost brushing him. He reacted and reprimanded my behaviour with a short command then turned his attention back to the screen on his lap.

I scrutinised her again, neck held back, chin onto it almost in an expression of disgust and bewilderment at his behaviour. I could hear her voice at the back of head again...

"Why doesn't he realise? I can't stand it! Is he grateful? Running away again?!"

I can't know what's he's thinking. He doesn't talk about it. Only words of wisdom and reprimand - I say.
His expressions hide them well but you do know that your voice can give it away. The eyes which are the souls of your inner thoughts can give you away. I don't want to pass a judgement saying, "Chose this side or that side." You never really get to know the full story until both come clean together.
The walls doesn't have ears but the ears outside the walls can hear when something is loud enough.

Looking at them both, I wonder. Just wonder. What would my fate be in the coming years on?
Some mistakes are best left not repeated. My 'concerns' are not concerns anymore in the wake of today.
Things that happen just happen. People who are, just are.
If I can't change the circumstances, I'll just have to change the way I see it.

I see but I do say.
After much thought and deliberation of course~

Lessons from a graveyard - Fahad Faruqui

2011-12-20T20:40:00.000+08:00

One can learn many lessons at a graveyard. I once found myself helping carry the corpse of a stranger, an old woman, to its final abode. At the time, I was a 20-year-old on a family trip to the holy city of Madinah in Saudi Arabia.

Following the Isha prayers at the Prophet's Mosque (Al-Masjid Al-Nabawi) and the recitation of obligatory funeral prayer, I came across a middle-aged man searching for help to transport the coffin of the woman, who I later learned was his mother.

She had passed away a few hours earlier and her son was eager to fulfill her final wish: to be buried immediately after death.

The son was the only family member present. He was anxious to hastily transport the steel coffin, containing the corpse of his mother wrapped in a white shroud, to the Garden of Heaven or, as it is called in Arabic, Janatu l-Baqi', a graveyard adjacent to the Prophet's Mosque.

Since it was late at night, the mosque had emptied quickly and there weren't many eager beavers to lend a hand. A few men on their way out of the mosque regrettably declined the man's pleas for assistance, saying they had far to travel before reaching home.

I wanted to help, but I was unsure if I would be able to carry the coffin all the way to the grave, a couple of hundred meters away.

After a handful of men gathered to move the coffin, four men including me lifted it in unison and rested each corner on the shoulder. As we proceeded toward the graveyard, the coffin was tilted toward my side since I was relatively shorter than the other three.

"She isn't heavy," I thought to myself in relief.

A man behind me yelled blessings to the dead as we commenced our walk toward the graveyard. We all joined in enthusiastically, chanting blessings to the dead.

Our voices started to get weaker as we ran out of breath. The farther we moved away from the mosque, the darker it became. In the sunlight, the sands of graveyard vary in color from orange to a shade that borders on red, with volcanic rocks scattered throughout the graves. But at night, it was pitch-black. Our pathway was lit only by the light illuminating from the towering minarets atop the mosque, where Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, rests along with Abu Bakr, the first Caliph, and Umar ibn Al-Khattab, the second Caliph, may God be pleased with both.

After a few uneven steps, the buckle of one of my sandals broke, forcing me to kick my sandals aside as we continued forward. The ground was warm, even at this late hour. I could barely see where my feet were stepping in the wide graveyard around us. I was granted some relief when a man volunteered to help, seeking only reward from the Creator.

We walked aimlessly for a bit, trying our best not to trample over the other graves as we searched for the woman's resting spot. Once we located it and rested the coffin beside the dugout, I took a peak at the grave. It was remarkably dark — the darkest shade of black that I have ever seen.

As I stood among these strangers with death before my eyes, and a six-foot deep grave that felt suffocating from above, the importance of my worries drifted away, and I began reflecting on the temporality of life.

It dawned on me how near we are all to death, our inevitable fate, although many of us think about death very rarely.

Quite out of the blue, I felt I was granted clues and answers to questions that had been filling my mind: Why am I here? And where will I go from here?

I had little to no sense of time. My startled parents went out looking for me when they saw all the doors of the Prophet's Mosque closed from the window of our hotel room. I arrived back at the hotel more than an hour later than usual, yet the impression the experience left on me has been lasting. It was a moment of clarity, an hour that changed the very foundation of my existence.

"A moment of true reflection is worth more than ages of heedless worship, Faraz Rabbani, a leading Islamic scholar, said recently on Twitter.

His words reminded me of that night. At certain points in our lives, we have experiences that shake us to the core and compel us to question our outlook on existence and, if we cultivate them properly, bring us nearer to the Almighty. Even many years later, in times when anger, distress, tribulation or temptation has attempted to sway me, my mind returns to that graveyard.

When you become mindful of death, you think and act differently. It becomes difficult to lash out in anger when we know how near death could be. A person conscious of death would think twice before defrauding and deceiving another human being.

By remembering that we will all perish and be buried in dirt, taking none of our possessions with us, it becomes undesirable to wrong or hurt someone intentionally. But one has to realize that death is inevitable.

My recollection of the funeral procession that night is vivid. I remember how time ceased for me in the midst of that graveyard. I recall the haunting feeling of suffocation and discomfort that kept me awake that night.

Back in the hotel, as I rested my head on the plush pillow, in an arctic air-conditioned room, I thought of the rock-hard walls encircling that meager grave.

We need not reflect on death at all times to keep us on track. Paying attention to life — to the wondrous creations of the universe around us — can always draw us near to God and prompt us to be grateful. But also reflect on death, since it turns you away from the superficiality of the world and curbs your ego.

I would not say I am a man of immense knowledge. I haven't spent an adequate amount of time fully uncovering the miracles of the Qur’an as deeply as I should. I have my ups and down. My faith, at times, dangles, and then I have to realign my thoughts. It happens more often than I am ready to confess here.

Yet I find remembering the inevitability of death from time to time is one way to stay grounded. During a course on Buddhist ethics I took a decade ago with Robert Thurman, the professor related a tale of a newlywed royal couple who went to a celebrated monk, Atisha, for marriage advice.

Initially hesitating to offer any since he had never been married himself, the monk finally yielded, giving some of the soundest marital advice I have heard: "Eventually, husband and wife, each will die. So now while alive, you should strive to be kind to each other."

Thoughts of death need not flood our minds with sorrow and negativity, as we should understand that death is a natural part of the journey of life.

If we work on making every prayer count as if it's our last and set aside time from our busy schedules, including the social media that consumes a measurable chunk of our day, to unwind the thoughts and worries entangled in our minds, we may become better humans and will indeed have a greater chance of living with peace.

I used to have a mind made of steel.

2011-12-20T09:14:00.002+08:00

30 Things to Start Doing for Yourself

Start spending time with the right people. – These are the people you enjoy, who love and appreciate you, and who encourage you to improve in healthy and exciting ways. They are the ones who make you feel more alive, and not only embrace who you are now, but also embrace and embody who you want to be, unconditionally.
Start facing your problems head on. – It isn’t your problems that define you, but how you react to them and recover from them. Problems will not disappear unless you take action. Do what you can, when you can, and acknowledge what you’ve done. It’s all about taking baby steps in the right direction, inch by inch. These inches count, they add up to yards and miles in the long run.
Start being honest with yourself about everything. – Be honest about what’s right, as well as what needs to be changed. Be honest about what you want to achieve and who you want to become. Be honest with every aspect of your life, always. Because you are the one person you can forever count on. Search your soul, for the truth, so that you truly know who you are. Once you do, you’ll have a better understanding of where you are now and how you got here, and you’ll be better equipped to identify where you want to go and how to get there. Read The Road Less Traveled.
Start making your own happiness a priority. – Your needs matter. If you don’t value yourself, look out for yourself, and stick up for yourself, you’re sabotaging yourself. Remember, it IS possible to take care of your own needs while simultaneously caring for those around you. And once your needs are met, you will likely be far more capable of helping those who need you most.
Start being yourself, genuinely and proudly. – Trying to be anyone else is a waste of the person you are. Be yourself. Embrace that individual inside you that has ideas, strengths and beauty like no one else. Be the person you know yourself to be – the best version of you – on your terms. Above all, be true to YOU, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.
Start noticing and living in the present. – Right now is a miracle. Right now is the only moment guaranteed to you. Right now is life. So stop thinking about how great things will be in the future. Stop dwelling on what did or didn’t happen in the past. Learn to be in the ‘here and now’ and experience life as it’s happening. Appreciate the world for the beauty that it holds, right now.
Start valuing the lessons your mistakes teach you. – Mistakes are okay; they’re the stepping stones of progress. If you’re not failing from time to time, you’re not trying hard enough and you’re not learning. Take risks, stumble, fall, and then get up and try again. Appreciate that you are pushing yourself, learning, growing and improving. Significant achievements are almost invariably realized at the end of a long road of failures. One of the ‘mistakes’ you fear might just be the link to your greatest achievement yet.
Start being more polite to yourself. – If you had a friend who spoke to you in the same way that you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would you allow that person to be your friend? The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others. You must love who you are or no one else will.
Start enjoying the things you already have. – The problem with many of us is that we think we’ll be happy when we reach a certain level in life – a level we see others operating at – your boss with her corner office, that friend of a friend who owns a mansion on the beach, etc. Unfortunately, it takes awhile before you get there, and when you get there you’ll likely have a new destination in mind. You’ll end up spending your whole life working towards something new without ever stopping to enjoy the things you have now. So take a quiet moment every morning when you first awake to appreciate where you are and what you already have.
Start creating your own happiness. – If you are waiting for someone else to make you happy, you’re missing out. Smile because you can. Choose happiness. Be the change you want to see in the world. Be happy with who you are now, and let your positivity inspire your journey into tomorrow. Happiness is often found when and where you decide to seek it. If you look for happiness within the opportunities you have, you will eventually find it. But if you constantly look for something else, unfortunately, you’ll find that too. Read Stumbling on Happiness.
Start giving your ideas and dreams a chance. – In life, it’s rarely about getting a chance; it’s about taking a chance. You’ll never be 100% sure it will work, but you can always be 100% sure doing nothing won’t work. Most of the time you just have to go for it! And no matter how it turns out, it always ends up just the way it should be. Either you succeed or you learn something. Win-Win.
Start believing that you’re ready for the next step. – You are ready! Think about it. You have everything you need right now to take the next small, realistic step forward. So embrace the opportunities that come your way, and accept the challenges – they’re gifts that will help you to grow.
Start entering new relationships for the right reasons. – Enter new relationships with dependable, honest people who reflect the person you are and the person you want to be. Choose friends you are proud to know, people you admire, who show you love and respect – people who reciprocate your kindness and commitment. And pay attention to what people do, because a person’s actions are much more important than their words or how others represent them.
Start giving new people you meet a chance. – It sounds harsh, but you cannot keep every friend you’ve ever made. People and priorities change. As some relationships fade others will grow. Appreciate the possibility of new relationships as you naturally let go of old ones that no longer work. Trust your judgment. Embrace new relationships, knowing that you are entering into unfamiliar territory. Be ready to learn, be ready for a challenge, and be ready to meet someone that might just change your life forever.
Start competing against an earlier version of yourself. – Be inspired by others, appreciate others, learn from others, but know that competing against them is a waste of time. You are in competition with one person and one person only – yourself. You are competing to be the best you can be. Aim to break your own personal records.
Start cheering for other people’s victories. – Start noticing what you like about others and tell them. Having an appreciation for how amazing the people around you are leads to good places – productive, fulfilling, peaceful places. So be happy for those who are making progress. Cheer for their victories. Be thankful for their blessings, openly. What goes around comes around, and sooner or later the people you’re cheering for will start cheering for you.
Start looking for the silver lining in tough situations. – When things are hard, and you feel down, take a few deep breaths and look for the silver lining – the small glimmers of hope. Remind yourself that you can and will grow stronger from these hard times. And remain conscious of your blessings and victories – all the things in your life that are right. Focus on what you have, not on what you haven’t.
Start forgiving yourself and others. – We’ve all been hurt by our own decisions and by others. And while the pain of these experiences is normal, sometimes it lingers for too long. We relive the pain over and over and have a hard time letting go. Forgiveness is the remedy. It doesn’t mean you’re erasing the past, or forgetting what happened. It means you’re letting go of the resentment and pain, and instead choosing to learn from the incident and move on with your life.
Start helping those around you. – Care about people. Guide them if you know a better way. The more you help others, the more they will want to help you. Love and kindness begets love and kindness. And so on and so forth.
Start listening to your own inner voice. – If it helps, discuss your ideas with those closest to you, but give yourself enough room to follow your own intuition. Be true to yourself. Say what you need to say. Do what you know in your heart is right.
Start being attentive to your stress level and take short breaks.– Slow down. Breath. Give yourself permission to pause, regroup and move forward with clarity and purpose. When you’re at your busiest, a brief recess can rejuvenate your mind and increase your productivity. These short breaks will help you regain your sanity and reflect on your recent actions so you can be sure they’re in line with your goals.
Start noticing the beauty of small moments. – Instead of waiting for the big things to happen – marriage, kids, big promotion, winning the lottery – find happiness in the small things that happen every day. Little things like having a quiet cup of coffee in the early morning, or the delicious taste and smell of a homemade meal, or the pleasure of sharing something you enjoy with someone else, or holding hands with your partner. Noticing these small pleasures on a daily basis makes a big difference in the quality of your life.
Start accepting things when they are less than perfect. – Remember, ‘perfect’ is the enemy of ‘good.’ One of the biggest challenges for people who want to improve themselves and improve the world is learning to accept things as they are. Sometimes it’s better to accept and appreciate the world as it is, and people as they are, rather than to trying to make everything and everyone conform to an impossible ideal. No, you shouldn’t accept a life of mediocrity, but learn to love and value things when they are less than perfect.
Start working toward your goals every single day. – Remember, the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. Whatever it is you dream about, start taking small, logical steps every day to make it happen. Get out there and DO something! The harder you work the luckier you will become. While many of us decide at some point during the course of our lives that we want to answer our calling, only an astute few of us actually work on it. By ‘working on it,’ I mean consistently devoting oneself to the end result. Read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
Start being more open about how you feel. – If you’re hurting, give yourself the necessary space and time to hurt, but be open about it. Talk to those closest to you. Tell them the truth about how you feel. Let them listen. The simple act of getting things off your chest and into the open is your first step towards feeling good again.
Start taking full accountability for your own life. – Own your choices and mistakes, and be willing to take the necessary steps to improve upon them. Either you take accountability for your life or someone else will. And when they do, you’ll become a slave to their ideas and dreams instead of a pioneer of your own. You are the only one who can directly control the outcome of your life. And no, it won’t always be easy. Every person has a stack of obstacles in front of them. But you must take accountability for your situation and overcome these obstacles. Choosing not to is choosing a lifetime of mere existence.
Start actively nurturing your most important relationships. – Bring real, honest joy into your life and the lives of those you love by simply telling them how much they mean to you on a regular basis. You can’t be everything to everyone, but you can be everything to a few people. Decide who these people are in your life and treat them like royalty. Remember, you don’t need a certain number of friends, just a number of friends you can be certain of.
Start concentrating on the things you can control. – You can’t change everything, but you can always change something. Wasting your time, talent and emotional energy on things that are beyond your control is a recipe for frustration, misery and stagnation. Invest your energy in the things you can control, and act on them now.
Start focusing on the possibility of positive outcomes. – The mind must believe it CAN do something before it is capable of actually doing it. The way to overcome negative thoughts and destructive emotions is to develop opposing, positive emotions that are stronger and more powerful. Listen to your self-talk and replace negative thoughts with positive ones. Regardless of how a situation seems, focus on what you DO WANT to happen, and then take the next positive step forward. No, you can’t control everything that happens to you, but you can control how you react to things. Everyone’s life has positive and negative aspects – whether or not you’re happy and successful in the long run depends greatly on which aspects you focus on. Read The How of Happiness.
Start noticing how wealthy you are right now. – Henry David Thoreau once said, “Wealth is the ability to fully experience life.” Even when times are tough, it’s always important to keep things in perspective. You didn’t go to sleep hungry last night. You didn’t go to sleep outside. You had a choice of what clothes to wear this morning. You hardly broke a sweat today. You didn’t spend a minute in fear. You have access to clean drinking water. You have access to medical care. You have access to the Internet. You can read. Some might say you are incredibly wealthy, so remember to be grateful for all the things you do have.

(Source: marcandangel.com)

Posted this here because I want to remind myself what's truly important. And that answer lies within me.

I used to have a resolve and will, unstoppable by forces that are called obstacles or challenges. Everyday I live my life looking and working toward the goals ahead. I chose to trust myself, live my own life for my own happiness, not depending on anyone or anything for it. Allah is my guide. I believe that I can be better than before. That now, I have the emotional capacity to feel, love and care more about others around me; no matter what happens I think it is for the best for everyone. There is always a silver lining in every dark cloud. Instead of trying to satisfy others, I'd rather satisfy my needs for the sake of Allah. Knowledge will be my solace. Work will build up my patience. I'll aim not to hurt anyone anymore and act with compassion and care, especially towards those I love.

Life is temporal. Whatever problems, challenges, difficulties that crops up, it will soon disappear in importance in the face of death. Afterlife is eternal and it's up to me to make it a place of repose or condemned to abasement in suffering.

Why

2011-12-19T23:40:00.000+08:00

I don't wish to speculate.
I don't want to think of the worst.
I just want to clarify.
And think of the best.
I just need to get this off my chest.
Again.
I really don't know anything anymore..

In my head, there is possibly so many scenarios that occur that I can't think straight.
HAHA I'M CURVED-HEADED!

okay back to reality. yesh.

Husain! ALWAYS REMEMBER this that will guide your life,

It is the decree of Allah and He does whatever He wills.

2011-12-15T08:15:00.001+08:00

I must practise my writing skills more.

Write more essays.

FOCUS!

Somewhat productive

2011-12-14T20:56:00.001+08:00

The only subject I can do without losing interest after 20 min is literature.
WHY THOU MUST ACT LIKE THIS GEOG?
NOW I WILL TRAVERSE THEE!
My siblings are out to get me i swear.
Screaming, spying and just being plain irritating!
Why can't they just leave me alone and study too~

I forgot to run today... and muscle aches are back in black!

you're back ^^

Relaxing moments

2011-12-13T23:18:00.001+08:00

I hope for a time that I can tell you everything.
Everything.
Hopefully words will flow out of this mouth of mine.
And sentences will be coherent in my head now.
Yup.
Thats all :0)

TODAY'S AWESOME 6h CYCLING TRIP WITH RIFDI AND ENDY WAS FULFILLING!!!
I just love nature.
The wind, the sun, the sky, the trees.
It relaxed your mind, your body, your soul.

But now my energy is sapped out and my concentration on my geog paper has truly been unproductive.
I must be serious in studying now. 2 more weeks left.need a study buddy
And during this weekend getaway across the border, I must buy clothes!!! and shoes!! and jeans. oh my goodness i have no jeans left...

Be happy, smile, love yourself, love others.
Everyone has their own flaws and defects to overcome, and once that is done, there is no limit to what you can do.

Ponder

2011-12-12T22:47:00.002+08:00

In the clubbing lifestyle, I could be sitting with a group of twenty guys and girls drinking,
and dance till the sun rise and still feel like I'm the loneliest person in the world.

on the other hand, tumblr was just a new way for me to rid myself of this restlessness.

This is what happens on Friday

2011-12-11T21:09:00.001+08:00

His adaptation of Rebecca Black's 'Friday' is so fitting for the most honored day of the week.

Sitting in the first Saff (row), chilling in the back Saff (row)
Got to make my mind up... Do what the prophet did!

It's Jumuah! Jumuah!
Got to make dhikr on Jumuah,
Everybody's looking forward to his mercy, mercy
Jumuah! Jumuah!
Got to make dhikr on Jumuah,

I wanna learn how to play the guitar or sing properly ~~~~~~~

Adapt yourself to the life you have been given; and truly love the people with whom destiny has surrounded you.
Marcus Aurelius

2011-12-10T22:39:00.001+08:00

I will not look,
I will not seek.
I will close my eyes,
and let our hearts meet.

Improvements!

2011-12-10T18:15:00.001+08:00

1) Must think positive all the time :)

2) Help others in need more

3) Make the best use of time

4) Treat my family and friends better

5) Accept the changes that occur to and around me

6) Embrace different cultures and diversity

7) Live like a global citizen

8) Love and care about others even more ^^

I found out today that once you focus all your energy and time in improving yourself, there is really no need to even think about the faults of others.

The best of us have faults, the worst of us have redeeming qualities.

In short : EVERYONE HAS GOODNESS IN THEIR HEARTS :)

this is the start of my only positive things prevail days~

come join the movement hahaha

2011-12-10T08:51:00.001+08:00

The only way to counter negative thoughts and insecurities is to channel all these latent energy into productivity.

Yes.

I'll do it :)

COME ON HUSAIN!

miss my floorball stick...
positive husain is back in black woo!

ARTHAS IS BACK! :)

2011-12-08T22:15:00.001+08:00

My bro Marcus has come back from the big apple!

Oh no, I feel so lazy and tired.

Floorball was really really tiring.

My abs were aching just trying to last in the game.

Oh my goodness i need to train my stamina!

I MUST REMOVE THIS LAZINESS!!!

~husain then goes on FB and watch videos~

MUST START ON WORKK!!!! SO MUCH AMOUNTING!!
ARGHHHH stress stresss

REMINDER

"Then seest thou such a one as takes as his god his own vain desire? Allah has knowing (him as such), left him astray, and sealed his hearing and his heart (and understanding), and put a cover on his sight. Who, then, will guide him after Allah (has withdrawn guidance)? Will ye not then receive admonition?" [45:23]

"Who is more astray than one who follows his own lusts, devoid of guidance from Allah? For Allah guides not people given to wrongdoing" [28:50]

never be led blindly by lust and desires

AND A PHOTOS WOOO this always, always happens to me.
THINK TO MUCH UNTIL NOTHING IS SAID.
FROM JAREN's tumblr

Rain or shine we'll paint!

2011-12-08T08:29:00.001+08:00

Yesterday's decor session was really seriously enjoyable :)

Working with all these crazy and talented people.

Facing the rain, braving the ghost toilets.

And the new awkwards!! haha snowmen

<3 these people loads!

I'm really grateful for you :)

The smiles and just the life that you bring about is just,

uplifting. ^^

Allah and Death

2011-12-07T21:30:00.001+08:00

Love others for the sake of Allah

2011-12-06T17:36:00.001+08:00

Narrated Abu Huraira (ra): The Messenger of Allah (saw) said:“Certainly, Allah will say on the Day of Resurrection: Where are those who love each other for the sake of My Glory? Today, I will shelter them in My shade; a Day when there is no shade but Mine.”

[Sahih Muslim, Book 032, Number 6225]

Food for thought

2011-12-06T17:32:00.001+08:00

atheist: can your lord fit the entire universe into an egg without making the egg any bigger and the universe any smaller?

imam jafar as-sadiq: i would like you to look at the sky, and at that bird in the sky, and at that tree, and at all those people who have gathered around us and now look at me.

atheist: i see them all.

imam jafar as-sadiq: if allah can fit all of those things inside the tiny pupil of your eye, do you think that he cannot fit the universe into an egg?

Alhamdulilah
praise be to god

for good and bad.
for easy and difficult.
for happiness and sadness.
for friends and strangers.
for good health and sickness.
for surplus and dearth.
for life and death.
for celebration and mourning.
for the past and present.
for strength and weakness.
thank you, god
for everything.

Sea of Regrets

2011-12-06T12:52:00.001+08:00

I LIKE TRAINS - Sea Of Regrets [Music Video] from Ben Lankester on Vimeo.

I teared up watching this. It really touches the soul and the heart. Resonating with our fears of the dangerous world. How more often than not we feel all alone in this humdrum society. Just moving and moving, not actually stopping to see the world around for what it is. I feel like this on some days. What if I stopped caring so much about the past and stop living in the dreams of the future while actually living happily in the present? Life will be much more meaningful and manageable to live. What a poignant way to see how a person's way of life is.

We see this is how one would tend to keep all the precious memories on our body and aim to reach greener pastures. Sometimes we feel as if we are drowning in regret for our decisions made.
And pray for our fate that lies with the Almighty.

I've always believed that a life lived without regret is a life that is truly worth living.

Today or Technically yesterday

2011-12-06T01:40:00.001+08:00

Today was a really unexpected surprise.
I wish I could smile forever now.
Unfortunately all the energy is all sucked out from me.
I'm talking gibberish, not english.
The nebulas and quasars I wanna see.
I read too much women books.
Got to be manly again.
And stop being such a SNAG.
Got to be control of my emotions. Now now baby, why are your screaming?
Micheal Buble's voice is like ahhh heavenly!
It not that I don't like seeing attractive people. hehe ^^
It's just that I don't like being distracted by the outer appearances from learning about the person inside.
Wahh I cannot stop my nonsense.
Sleep sleeping
I'm actually very wacky and whimsical. Under this cover of discipline and restrait.
BS!
artists are mad. and will stay so.
opps the euphemistic word CREATIVE

darn i need sleep now

Inexorable as death

2011-12-05T12:41:00.001+08:00

As he stood mute and grave, she again fell to caressing Carlo. 'Poor Carlo loves me,' she said. 'He is not stern and distant to his friends; and if he could speak, he would not be silent.'
As she patted the dog's head, bending with native grace before his young and austere master, I saw a glow rise to that master's face. I saw his solemn eye melt with sudden fire, and flicker with resistless emotion. Flushed and kindled thus, he looked nearly as beautiful for a man as she for a woman. His chest heaved once, as if his large heart, weary of despotic constriction, has expanded, despite the will, and made a vigorous bound for the attainment of liberty. But he curbed it, I think, as a resolute rider would curb a rearing steed. He responded neither by word nor movement to the gentle advances made him.
------------------------------
'Are you well?' she asked. Well might she put the question : his face was blanched as her gown.

'Quite well,' he enunciated; and, with a bow, he left the gate. She went one way; he another. She turned twice to gaze after him as she tripped fairy-like down the field; he, as he strode firmly across, never turned at all.

This spectacle of another's suffering and sacrifice rapt my thoughts from exclusive meditation on my own. Diana Rivers had designated her brother 'inexorable as death'. She had not exaggerated.

-Excerpts from Jane Eyre.
It's amazing how he manages to control even the most burning passion.

Capital Cities :)

2011-12-05T12:15:00.001+08:00

For you :>

Can you see what I see in you...

Study Schedule

2011-12-04T22:06:00.001+08:00

Okay tomorrow is 5 December.
I promised myself I will start my revision tomorrow.
And I will :)

Literature
1) 3 Wuthering heights essay
- Practical criticism
- Context Question
- Essay question
2) Comparison Essay
- Jane Eyre (4/5 read, 1/5 hid by brooding sister who just wants to disturb me)
- Thousand Splendid Suns (needs to be borrowed soon)
3) Read Richard III

Geography
1) Physical Geog
- 4 articles for recent case studies
- Floods, Earthquakes, Tsunamis
- Japan, Bangkok
2) Human Geog
- Another 4 articles for case studies
- Euro zone
- Singapore Current demographic problems\

Economics
1) Tutorial Macro economics
- All the questions and essays must be done

Maths
1) Extra Practice

I have not factored in the revision of all my J1 topics. Time is tight.
I will make the best use of it so that next year, when season comes up, when council work goes hardcore, when match supports occur, at least I'll be a little bit more prepared to handle and balance everything.
This is a responsibility I have to undertake.
I must make the best use of time.
Yes time is precious.

Gratitude :)

2011-12-03T22:59:00.001+08:00

I quite settled now. I feel much better.
I think I'm caring too much about my feelings ever since I took lit.
I guess that's a good thing?

Change is for the better :O)
Let's be grateful for what we already have.
I do believe that the blessings that are bestowed upon us are uncountable.
So why is Man still ungrateful?

Dwelling in thoughts again...

2011-12-02T20:17:00.001+08:00

My body knows when something is not for me.
My mind knows it.
My soul knows it.
Only my heart keeps hurting itself every time it decides to go there once again.

I'm filled with so many unnecessary dread.

The only One guaranteed not to break your heart is the One who made it.

True love is only for Allah and His Messenger.

2011-12-02T00:59:00.001+08:00

It's hard to change someone when all they do is follow their lust and desires.
In fact, I guess he will only change if he wants to.

Subhanallah.
All this problems of the this world won't affect me.
With Allah's grace and the power of the Qur'an to guide me.
I'll finally achieve rest in Paradise Insya'allah.
God Willing.
Sleep in peace husain,
wake up smiling for you have been given life for another day :)

Forget I the last post.
But that's impossible right?

don't read, it's a rant ...

2011-12-02T00:01:00.001+08:00

i suddenly feel damn sadddd......
my ankles are injured AGAIN.
My parents are harping on my neck to stop playing floorball!!
it's my only time i exercise nowaday and I love the sport...
it may sound illogical at times but yeah I'm freaking reckless sometimes.
But this was not the root of my sudden sadness and despair...
it was only a subset of it.
argh why am I writing this negative things down anyway.
I feel so angry at not doing anything useful.
urghh. why ?! why!?
i'm feelin like a despot.
yearning for something.
i really hate this thing about expectations and reality.
really screws my mind up.
i guess it's a test.
it's a lifelong test.

I know that was my emotions talking.
Here is the mind telling me to swallow things up
and just keep moving.
despite the pain.

Rambles

2011-12-01T20:12:00.001+08:00

Short hair actually feels quite good and convenient.

I guess things are just meant to be.

No need to fret about.

Just relax and be contented with the blessings.

But not with the current state of being.

Constant improvement!

Now where's that planner?

By Time.

2011-11-28T23:52:00.001+08:00

Then on, another great poem by my sister Wardah,

Weather Trend

Sunny in the early and midday, rainy towards the evening and night.
Fan in its highest speed… and blankets wrapped around tight
Most people miss the sun by a few hours as they’d sleep in
And wake up to the darkening clouds, dismissing them without much care

Profanities spills all over, but the sky never takes offense
Sweaty clothes can be washed and mouths can be filled
Going unrealised, the fact that we could still use present tense
Thank yous never muttered or even thought of, till all is killed

Not knowing how to comfort you, she tried with all her might
Jokes she told you fell flat, she couldn’t bear the sorrowed sight
Tears slipped and rolled down her cheeks, having seen you cry
And you bawled your heart out while she sobs with you there

Why is it that she’s the last one to fall asleep, her wandering conscience
Sitting at the edge her bed, head hung down…the heart grows less
Listening in to the soft snores of loved ones, not the silence
Alone, yet not…No moon tonight. New moon in this darkness, eh

He was never an alarm clock fan, in fact he wonders why
there is one in his room for he undoubtedly hates it (& clocks in general)
Somehow the sky is really blue today, he thinks its unusual
Peering out of his window, the sun blinds him into smiling

Tears long dried, sobs are unheard
Refreshing cool water splashed to your swollen eyes
Realising breakfast in the mornings kick starts his days
And she happily babbles to a listening and laughing person

There is always warmth

She's uber good no doubt!

Showing more maturity in thought than me sometimes :)

Write some more sistar!

For the rest of my life

2011-11-27T00:16:00.001+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHbZ9SXHJwA

Life Goals

2011-11-26T22:47:00.001+08:00

Well it's always good to set goals that spur you on everyday.
Especially on those mundane days when we are deprived of social activity.
It provides that extra ummph and energy needed to seize the day, Carpe Diem (did i get it right?)
After an eye opening experience walking through the streets of Tanjong Pagar alone,
limited by a two hours of art lessons by Hilwa and Ihsan my two youngest siblings,
I really got the chance to spend time with myself and just reflect and ponder.
I was literally a fish out of water, walking through those shophouses I've never seen in my whole 17 years here. Wah there are many other parts of Singapore I can't even fathom!
Up the hill which I forgot the name, then reaching Chinatown and wandering there till I reached my intended destination. A mosque. Which happens to be situated on the same street as an Indian and Chinese Temple.
Amazing!
All these places I ventured with a trusty companion, an umbrella. The skies were like incessantly opening and unleashing a torrent of rain for a few minutes before the Sun came up again. It rained like 5 times in 2 hours ?!
Spending my last half-hour, I ordered teh like a true uncle and sat by the side of the coffeeshop drinking hot milk tea with egg prata and Jane Eyre to amuse me while waiting for the rain to lighten up.
To me, today felt like a sublime experience.
Then I thought of a quotable quote!

It is quite often that in the process of getting lost, we will eventually find ourselves in the end :)

Only in the unfamiliar terrain that you start thinking and discovering about things you've never opened your eyes and mind to. Ideas and thoughts become coherent and you find something new about yourself in that moment.
It's like this journey has transformed you somehow.

Somehow my post digressed too far from the initial title but looking back at it, whatever that happened is still very much relevant :)

okay life goals!

1) Read through the Quran, understand it, memorise it, learn it and live it.
2) Travel the world, see Allah's creations and ponder and take heed from the sights.
3) Pursue knowledge to the very end. Every kind, sciences and arts
4) Never hurt anyone and have good relationships with people always :) Love them too :)
5) READ ALL KINDS OF RELIGIOUS TEXT! bible, torah what else, Verdana, Purnama!
6) And always have pure and sincere intentions, for Allah's sake.

Now to find that discipline and university that I wanna go! woo! So much that we can do in life :)
SO MUCH MOTIVATION!
WOOOOOOOO!!!

husain is pumped~

Born like an artist, Bloom like an artist :)

2011-11-24T22:57:00.001+08:00

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2EHGQk/www.nettserier.no/_striper/jellyvampire-1304892000.jpg

go here!!

2011-11-22T10:07:00.001+08:00

What if we are all good people, trying our best to be better?
What good will it do to pass judgment upon others?

No one is perfect.
But we can all strive to be better people all the time :)

A thought of you

2011-11-21T00:19:00.001+08:00

More people have been coming up to me and asking for explanations.
It's interesting how now I can answer them objectively as I can.
Must research more!

2011-11-20T22:03:00.001+08:00

You're just too beautiful I swear.

That's why I'm afraid to say it too.

Eternal Sunshine of the spotless mind

2011-11-20T13:58:00.001+08:00

One of the best movies I've watched. The story really resonates with me. really :**) teehee

2011-11-20T11:55:00.001+08:00

Am I supposed to be doing what I've been doing now?

Happiness

2011-11-19T23:56:00.001+08:00

Verily with each difficulty, there is relief. (94:6 Holy Quran)

Good times will always pass quickly.
Too quickly for us to realise that it has already passed by.
It's been 5 years now since I made the promises to myself.
In those khaki shorts.
To be good to everyone.
To respect everyone especially girls haha.
To give my best in everything that I do.
And to place my faith in Allah.

This year was just too good I tell you.
Too good.
It passed by too fast.
I can't even remember all the multitudes of fun I had.
I guess it's a reminder for to appreciate things as they are.
To contented and happy for the present.

TO LIVE IN THE MOMENT

I'mma reading books :D

2011-11-18T22:57:00.001+08:00

Love reading books!
To gain knowledge.
To find out the truths in life.
Love this feeling of learning.

In the words of Jesus (peace be upon him)
" Seek ye the truth, and the truth shall set you free"-
(John 8:32)

Gonna sleep early tonight.
My whole body is just plain exhausted
from floorball and other stuff.

IMMA EXCITED FOR TMR!!! WOOOooOOoOOOOoooOo!

goodnight
nil sine labore
hehe

Reality Check

2011-11-17T23:35:00.001+08:00

It's November now. I've been in this school for almost a year now.
In retrospect, my sec 4 self would have pummeled my face right now.
Asking me why I have become so screwed up now.
Straying away from my promises and expectations I've made for myself then.

I'm thinking whether this decision,
to take a step back and be a follower is the best thing for me.
That just sounds selfish and the typical narcissistic Machiavellian egotistic me.
Judging from the pure choleric results in my personality test I took in January,

I thrive being in control. I don't disagree.
But don't you get it, THIS IS THE TIME TO TAKE A STEP BACK AND LOOK!
Look with your eyes in this perspective.
Humble yourself now.

Okay stop it. That was the past.
You've changed.
I'd love to believe it.
Yes, have faith.

This always happens.
When you've reached the crest of your life, you'll go on a free fall.
Falling into desires and temptations.
Haven't you said that you'd never betray yourself.

I want to hope.
Hope that I'd been better than the previous year.
Looking into the depths of my heart,
I think otherwise.

You will always feel unsettled.
Deranged and delusional in thought.
Burning in your heart and soul.
I think you have brought it upon yourself
Husain.

Now enough bashing yourself up.
This isn't you.
Be good to all of God's creation.
Be good to your parents, your siblings, your family, your friends.
You are accountable for your every action.
Good deeds or sins.

Always remember that God is watching.

I am afraid.
But of no human.
I fear Allah.

Reflect upon this Husain...

But knowing me, I'd never lose hope.

Never.

Bloggers gang!

2011-11-15T22:06:00.001+08:00

Since it was my blogger gang converging into the same room,
it is worthy of being blogging material.
Met up with zaki, rifdi, marcus, li keen and jaren at zaki's house.
Watched the ghost must be crazy, then indulged in an inter-empire showdown in AOE3.
I was controlling India to no avail being undeveloped and lagging behind the rest (sounds familiar?),
before Li keen took over and totally owned the rest of the countries.
Rifdi was in a fatigue stupor, marcus, zaki and jaren played on the game.
I was nonchalantly eating away at zaki's hello panda and loakers!! nice
After that we went to white sands to eat dinner at Burger King.
Following that, we all parted our ways. (story cut short)
haha I've no patience to elaborate most things.. Zaki and Rifdi does a better job :)
Good outing spend talking pure rubbish without a care hehe

Zaki : Where did you get those nice hands (pointing to li keens)
Rifdi : From the second-hand shop!

Hurhurhur. ok funny HAHAH

Afghanistan

2011-11-15T10:13:00.001+08:00

Away from what the media portray it as, it is a beautiful country with it's people, cultures and natural surroundings. Home is always where the heart will be.

Afghanistan – touch down in flight from Augustin Pictures on Vimeo.

Against the Grain

2011-11-15T09:45:00.001+08:00

Hudson - Against The Grain from Dropbear on Vimeo.

I love going against the flow :)

The sun will shine

2011-11-15T07:57:00.001+08:00

Looking back,
I could have done so many things better.
Been less selfish and egoistic.
And love the people around me more.
For just who they are,
and not who I expect them to be.
The sun is shinning today.
After a whole tumult of rain and thunder yesterday.
The sky is certainly a beautiful sight to behold.
I'll treasure the memories always :0)
And look forward to the bright future ~

Anyone wants to go cycling with me?

Finally

2011-11-14T23:53:00.001+08:00

I've realised that writing to yourself about things you would never say or the things always floating in your mind but you have no courage to say it out loud is very very relaxing and calming. No longer do I have to keep the thoughts to myself and self-destruct, I'll just write in out on a piece of paper and reflect and ponder upon it.
I can then talk and express myself properly hehe

I've finally come to terms with myself.

~ If you know who you are and what you want, the less you let things upset you.

Smile :)

The day our skin will testify against us.

2011-11-12T01:14:00.001+08:00

If we do ponder about the punishments we get in Hellfire for our sins, we will be too afraid to do another sin.
But humans are humans. Making sins all the time. That is why we repent.

If you swear you believe in life

2011-11-11T00:52:00.001+08:00

You may fall but I know that you’ll help me believe.
I may fall but I swear that I’ll help you believe.

2011-11-10T20:05:00.002+08:00

I'm still searching for the right words to say what I've got to say.

My head

2011-11-09T16:50:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I have it all in my head.
Every sentence, every scenario, every word.
All the thoughts and feelings that I wanted to express.
Happiness, sadness, longing, care and love.
But the words would always get stuck in my throat.
This frustrations could really paralyze me.

awkward spaces emphasises this~~

i hope my
Actions speak louder than words :)
This explains some things i guess.

Cycling

2011-11-07T12:53:00.003+08:00

feels so good to be on wheels.
feels so relaxed in the wind.
speed up and slow down.
I love the sights of the world now.

Cherish the ones you love.

2011-11-06T23:29:00.000+08:00

Time flies fast. Life is short. There is no need to bear grudges. Let's be filial sons and daughters. Love our parents, be good children. Never look down on anyone whilst thinking that you are more superior or blessed. That the characteristics of an egoist they will be the ones low in the sight of Allah. I yearn to go the Holy Land once more. To see the blessed Ka'bah and the destitute desert around the cities. Reminds me of the moment we are all going to be gathered there at Padang Mashsyar during the day of Judgement. Let's be better humans, better people. Love everyone. Give the best to every action.

With Ikhlas and Taqwa.
Let's be the best that we are meant to be.
In morals and character :)

Everything happens for a reason.
Things that aren't in your favor may be the very ones that are truly favorable for you.
The Lord, All-knowing knows best.

Spread the love :))

I found an old poem somewhere

2011-11-05T11:14:00.000+08:00

Adapted from my old poems written when I was sec 3.

Your glistening fear,
Filled with trepidation in your ear.
As you rock and sway.
I'll wait in this stock of hay which I will stay.
Looking at the tomorrow's bright day :)
Rise!

Another one

As my mind tried to reach out to you,
I heard a calling to go back.
Return to the light.
Return to the light.
To the path of righteousness.

And so I will.
Every single time I try to reach out again.

Multitudes of Homework

2011-11-02T23:43:00.002+08:00

Woah so many homework and assignments for december hols.
Plus revision for this year.
Guess it's a repeat of end-of sec 3 years.
Except that now I'm gonna finish it all plus relax too :)

I'm just tired thinking about it all.

Thinking is tiring HAHAH

Humming Bird

2011-11-01T22:00:00.000+08:00

I'm so tired!
Urggh!
I wanna do econs.
I wanna do maths>> statistics!
I wanna read my geog. (REDO PHYSICAL GEOG!!)
Oh why can't I do it?
My eyes are burning.
I am tearing.
My body is wearing out.
Oh my goodness.
I need to sleep early.
Got to do the econs report mann! Dubai!!
Jane Eyre!!! Must finish reading!!
Thousand Splendid suns!! must borrow from somewhere!
OH the library fine!! Persepolis movie!! I wanna watch!!
MUST READ MORE INTER-RELIGIOUS BOOKS!!
I wanna do lit essays too!

Actually all I can possibly do now is.........................drop dead.
I mean fall asleep.
Yesh :)

oh ya OP!

I look so young!

2011-10-30T21:54:00.001+08:00

http://share.ovi.com/media/xavierxiao.EDGE2009/xavierxiao.11516 (video here)

I look so young.(olevel has certainly ravaged me badly) This was early 2010, before my india trip. I was a young sec 4 senior leader leading sec 1 for the second time to their orientation camp. I boarded this bus with the class 1E where I made some very good friends that bus trip :)

Guess it's the innocence in the face, before all the weather-beaten face came about from facing the truths of life and the stark reality of the world.

I feel so old now. It's only been one and a half year since then. What a journey.

This was my mud-man video.http://share.ovi.com/media/xavierxiao.EDGE2009/xavierxiao.11547 I am really in the element. Sleeping in the mangrove, enjoying the mud and cool nature and water. Bliss :) Mr Amir and Mr Siow. Wahhh I miss their enthu-ness and their inspiring aura always referring to us as Gentlemen. not boys. yesh.

This was my memorable PT with the sec 1s, making them jump and shout I love VS. Wahhh Good days man. Good days. see the whole video here! >http://share.ovi.com/media/xavierxiao.EDGE2009/xavierxiao.11538

council camp? AHAHAHAHH

Reflect.Regret.Repent.

2011-10-26T21:41:00.002+08:00

A funeral procession passed in front of the Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) and he stood up. When he was told by the people that it was the coffin of a jew, he said, “Was he not a human being?”

(Bukhari Book #23, Hadith #399) BM

A true believer has no worry except about his failure to fulfill his duties to his Lord

Imam Ali ibn Abu Talib (as)

The Quest For Meaning.

2011-10-26T18:04:00.002+08:00

Spend some time reflecting upon this.
You'll will find the answer to your question.

Food for thought

2011-10-26T17:04:00.004+08:00

Cool nice animation. Good messages! GO THE LINK!

http://www.youtube.com/user/OUlearn#p/c/73A886F2DD959FF1/0/skM37PcZmWE

VS- longing

2011-10-26T13:31:00.001+08:00

I can never forget where I came from...

2011-10-24T23:31:00.003+08:00

so much sadness in the world...

why has it come to this?
GONNA CHIONG LOGOS! GRRR!!

Let's start from now.

2011-10-24T21:48:00.000+08:00

Improvements from CT.
Promos was good in a sense.
I'll get to the end point by A levels.
I promise.
Let's improve constantly starting from now.
Decor work starting soon.
Floorball is put on a hold for a week.
Got to do ankle exercises everyday.
CCAD having many things soon.
I'mma having learning journey tmr.
Yesh. Must start having discipline!

Let's start from now :)

6 children in a living room with the TV switched off

2011-10-23T22:54:00.001+08:00

Can you imagine having 5 other siblings who grow up close to you all the time?

Doesn't it feel crowded you will say. Hmm from my inductive observation, it's far from that.

Though our physical spaces are reduced, the level of intimate interaction is increased.

I could just say that the sight in the living room in the afternoon when everyone is at home, slacking together is something we'll remember when time flies down the years when are all grown-up and old people.

My elder sister with her art boards and SOHO by the corner of the room doing her NTU art projects whilst jumping around, poking and disturbing me time to time, my elder brother checking out his biceps in his tight-fit bursting cycling gear recounting to us his obsession with cycling and his adventures together with trusted bike. He's checking out his calf muscles saying it needs to be MORE DEFINED! He later plugs in into the sound system his Iphone and plays Florence and the Machine tracks.

This brings it back to me. I'm spending this quaint pleasant last slack afternoon before the release of the promo results tomorrow reading 'The Great Gatsby'. Yup from my tweet, I can really feel for Gatsby, who waits for 5 years patiently while splurging on the most lavish parties just to have an evening talk with his love, or somewhat obsession with Daisy which I think doesn't reap the intended benefits. (kinda reminds me of how I used to wait patiently for a few years just to talk to a certain ncc girl for less than an hour. those are the days of my obsession that has currently come to naught) Anyway time passes by, people move on and change. So yeah the book is getting more interesting as the chapters go on.

Okay as I'm lying on the sofa, my younger sister is reading my lit text, oranges and telling us all how she got muscles in her calf (genetics) and sunburns from playing basketball with her friends on top of a library!? And just reading things too. My youngest sister is apparently the most hardworking one amongst us all doing her homework or extra work dilligently while eating at the same time. This explains her chubby cheeks hehe. They are mostly quiet and do now cause any major disruptions other than with their singing of random songs and burst of fan-girling moments when it arises. Yes I remember now, my elder sister is blasting korean music and singing it in an annoying manner that disrupts peace among the girls. The elder bro now looking upon the bicycle rack imagining the 10 thousand dollar bike he dreams to buy. The Ipod playing fix you by coldplay, love that song :)

But that's not the crux here. It's the antics of my younger brother that drive us utterly crazy. All of us united in one cause. TO MAKE HIM FREAKING STUDY FOR HIS EXAM NEXT WEEK!!! this p4 boy is hyper-active dancing to florence's music and just jumping around, saying he's ugly but handsome. What a paradox. He jumps around, does some questions on his worksheets then jumps into my territory and attempts to cuddle but I refused vehemently and he bounces off into the main hall taking my floorball stick and playing dribbles with my floorball balls. I'm am utterly worried about him every single moment I see him not studying, which is ALL THE TIME! He just doesn't want to. Opening the pipes of whining and screams and tears, I guess it's up to him now. It's his choice. Don't know whether he'll regret it later on...

The bell rings and my parents come home. 6.30 pm. What good timing. My elder bro offers to buy pizza for dinner. The 6 children disperse to do our prayers, work and slacking things on our own. Our children conference is over. I ran off to do some stickwork juggling stuff and think about tomorrow. What's tomorrow's significance?

You'll never meet tomorrow.

You will always be living in today :0)

Oh yes. PW.

Oh yes. Promos.

All these 'P' words are all around me.

-life on a normal Sunday afternoon.

Just bliss.